the crest

so i was just watching vh1 like.. most outrageous celebrity real estate or something equally as interesting, or rather, completely not interesting, and ryan seacrest came on. here's how it played out:


unfunny 'comic'/talking head: "he bought richard dreyfuss' old house!! he has a million jobs and is on tv and the radio 24/7. he's going to be in hollywood forever!!"

me: "holy fuck he totally is!..haha richard dreyfuss!?"


so this man is literally the new dick clark, or, if you prefer, the dick clark of our generation. he'll really be here forever. like, when we're 47 he'll be hosting new years eve times square no doubt. so then i, obviously, became really interested in him. did i mention i was high? anyway, i was like.. hm, it's pretty weird that he's everywhere on tv and shit and i don't know anything about him "personally" except for those really fucking unfortunate pictures where he was kissing teri hatcher and those were fucking gross. so i wiki him and begin to read.


Ryan John Seacrest (born December 24, 1974) is an American radio, television personality, and anchorman. Seacrest is also a former children's game show host, who gained prominence as the host of the reality television talent-search series American Idol. In 2004, he joined Casey Kasem the host of American Top 40, and he has co-hosted Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Dick Clark since 2005.


omg boring!! can you even read that??? i can't! nah, just kidding.. i mean, i read like three more paragraphs but totally couldn't read anymore cause i remembered that i didn't give one little shit about this dude. i'll let him host my e! shows and say witty things to simon and interview boring celebs while standing on red carpets but i mean, i guess that's as far as our relationship is gunna go. either way, ewwww:



i've never meant the phrase "gag me with a spoon" more. but the real villian in this photo has to be the hatch. she is soo the beast here.

MUSSAFI OUT