best advice ever

Dear Slut Machine, I have a crush on my guy friend's roommate. I'm tempted to tell my friend that I heart his roommate, but I'd rather handle my own business. How do I go about showing his roommate that I'm interested without using my friend as a middle-man?

Orchestrate a situation (without making it seem like an orchestration) where you guys are all together at a time you think you will all get drunk. Like, drunk drunk. It'll work itself out from there. If they don't drink, then I can't imagine them being fun to hang out with, so you should just fuck the roommate and then peace on them both. If you don't drink, then maybe you should, if you're having problems like this. Happy holidays!

so good