I was wearing a totally comfortable, non clingy, brightly colored, fancy free, not a care in the world, i'm going frolicking in the park type of summer dress...I went to hand over my two bulging at the seams laundry bags and the woman who owns the place [who has seen my dirty underwear on several occasions now] looks down at my midriff and the following conversation takes place.
laundry lady with no tact: 'you are pregnant?'
me: uhhh..no.
llwnt: (leaning down and staring at my belly) REALLY?
me: NO. it's probably just the dress.
llwnt: (still looking down): oh...(totally convinced that i am lying)
Seeing as I was almost in tears, I fought the urge to say something to the effect of "that's really rude" and swallowed my pride, walked out of the shop, bewildered, and went home to stare at my mid-section in the mirror at every possible angle.
Ok, so I do have a bit of a belly, as I do enjoy eating sweets..but pregnant? That's a bit extreme.
From now on I vow to:
1. do at least 100 situps a day
2. wear the safe from pregnancy rumors, but not quite as comfortable as empire waisted, shift dress
3. burn all of the tented, shapeless offenders before the urge to wear them again strikes
exhibit a: the offender
look! it's gisele! she could wear anything, literally, and it would look good on her, and this is kind of unflattering, no?
exhibit b: the safe choice.
there will be no mistaking me for preggers in this one.
2 comments:
this is precisely why i never understood this new trend! i don't really think it's flattering for anyone but we all insist on continuing to wear these completely unflattering, pregnant-belly-giving dresses. why?! designers need to stop making them STAT. also, fuck that lady so much! that is almost as bad as when the guy who worked at the pizza place asked me "how many months" i was and i almost slit my wrists. anyway, the next time you go there you should go rolling around in the mud so all your clothes are really dirty and tell her to GET TA FUCK!
i look good in them
HAHA
or am i just delusional?
be honest, no don't.
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